What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

(Brent) #1
LIVING OUR LIMBIC LEGACY 35

ber experiences from our past encounters and build upon them (see box 9).
Thus far we have seen how efficiently the limbic system helps us to deal
with threats. Now let’s look at how our brain and body work together to
comfort us and give us confidence in our personal safety.
When we experience a sense of comfort (well-being), the limbic brain
“leaks” this information in the form of body language congruent with
our positive feelings. Observe someone resting in a hammock on a breezy
day. His body reflects the high comfort being experienced by his brain.
On the other hand, when we feel distressed (discomfort), the limbic brain
expresses nonverbal behavior that mirrors our negative state of being.
Just watch people at the airport when a flight is canceled or delayed.
Their bodies say it all. Therefore, we want to learn to look more closely
at the comfort and discomfort behaviors we see every day and use them
to assess for feelings, thoughts, and intentions.
In general, when the limbic brain is in a state of comfort, this mental
and physiological well-being is reflected in nonverbal displays of content-
ment and high confidence. When, however, the limbic brain is experienc-
ing discomfort, the corresponding body language is characterized by
behaviors emblematic of stress or low confidence. Knowledge of these
“behavioral markers” or tells will help you determine what a person may
be thinking, or how to act or what to expect when dealing with other
people in any social or work context.


The Importance of Pacifying Behaviors

Understanding how the limbic system’s freeze, flight, and fight responses
influence nonverbal behavior is only part of the equation. As you study
nonverbal behavior, you will discover that whenever there is a limbic re-
sponse—especially to a negative or threatening experience—it will be
followed by what I call pacifying behaviors (Navarro, 2007, 141–163).
These actions, often referred to in the literature as adapters, serve to
calm us down after we experience something unpleasant or downright
nasty (Knapp & Hall, 2002, 41–42). In its attempt to restore itself to
“normal conditions,” the brain enlists the body to provide comforting

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