What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

44 WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING

BOX 11: THE PACIFYING PENDULUM

Watch a couple as they converse at a table. If the woman begins to play

with her necklace, most likely she is a little nervous. But if she transitions

her fingers to her neck dimple (suprasternal notch), chances are there is

an issue of concern to her or she feels very insecure. In most instances, if

she is using her right hand on her suprasternal notch, she will cup her

right elbow with her left hand. When the stressful situation is over or there

is an intermission in the uncomfortable part of the discussion, her right

hand will lower and relax across her folded left arm. If the situation again

becomes tense, her right hand will rise, once again, to the suprasternal

notch. From a distance, the arm movement looks like the needle on a

stress meter, moving from resting (on the arm) to the neck (upright) and

back again, according to the level of stress experienced.

Even a brief touch of the neck will serve to assuage

anxiety or discomfort. Neck touching or massaging is a

powerful and universal stress reliever and pacifier.

Fig. 15