What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

GETTING A LEG UP ON BODY LANGUAGE 75

Our Need for Space

Ever wonder what kind of first impression you’ve made on someone?
Whether they seem to like you from the outset or, rather, if there could
be difficulties brewing? One way to find out is the “shake and wait” ap-
proach. Here’s how it works.
Foot and leg behavior is especially important to observe when you
first meet people. It reveals a lot about how they feel about you. Person-
ally, when I first meet someone, I typically lean in, give the person a
hearty handshake (depending on the appropriate cultural norms in the
situation), make good eye contact, and then take a step back and see what
happens next. One of three responses is likely to take place: (a) the person
will remain in place, which lets me know he or she is comfortable at that
distance; (b) the individual will take a step back or turn slightly away,
which lets me know he or she needs more space or wants to be elsewhere;
or (c) the person will actually take a step closer to me, which means he or
she feels comfortable and/or favorable toward me. I take no offense to
the individual’s behavior because I am simply using this opportunity to
see how he or she really feels about me.
Remember, the feet are the most honest part of the body. If a person
needs extra space, I give it. If he or she is comfortable, I don’t have to
worry about dealing with a proximity issue. If someone takes a step to-
ward me, I know they feel more comfortable near me. This is useful in-
formation in any social setting, but also remember you should set limits
as to what makes you comfortable when it comes to space.

Walking Style

When it comes to the feet and legs, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention
the nonverbal cues given off by different styles of walking. According to
Desmond Morris, scientists recognize approximately forty different styles
of walking (Morris, 1985, 229–230). If that seems like a lot, just recall
what you know about the gait of these individuals as portrayed in vari-
ous films: Charlie Chaplin, John Wayne, Mae West, or Groucho Marx.