An Encounter That Changed My Life
Would it make me active again if they were to contain water
or air? Or would this make me a lunatic form of a cutter?
More like a poker, I declare. Please do not worry; I'm
venting the past thoughts of me that linger. Oh Lord, this
was life. In color, all mine. Sometimes I cannot imagine
another kind. Some days the past feels nothing more than a
mere dream: a prisoner of my deceitful demise. This world
is a vacuum, taking away any form of reality. What or who
is real? The meaning of a real expression this deadly
weapon does conceal. You pass by seeing smiles, yet they
only hide the truths. But what is the truth in such a dark
place? Am I being too much right now? How can I be too
much when too much is never enough? Are you following
me?
I can only hope because I've already lost myself,
somewhere from December to December. How do we even
define ourselves in such a state of confusion? Are we
weary and oblivious, or fierce and serene? Slipping into a
coma everyday is the same. Watching helplessly, the empty
souls, for their hearts that are no longer beating. Can you
even begin to grasp what I say? Too much pain; it needs to
escape but has no way. Who are these people we see? Are
they only reflections of you and me?
This is no ordinary questionnaire. I understand this to
be true. All these things I'm trying to eradicate. Now you
understand my dilemma. Was this my destiny all along, to
be frozen in every mistake I've ever made? How can I truly
express the wonders of my heart, forfeit my deepest secrets.
That would be giving the power to unlock my very kindred
spirit. I am a delicate flower trying to grow, trying to be
whole. To touch my silky petals is impossible because no
one in my life is what they seem. Can you read any further
into the invisible words I do not write, be one with me in
the unseen? Does this knowledge of me burn your eyes,
scorching that same emptiness of a hole.
So, I ask you again. Would you also take the needle
just to stick it in, to feel the tearing, the ripping of the skin
releasing the black and blues from within? You ponder