There is ample evidence that ego development does not stop
with physical maturity, and so while we cannot change our
height or bone structure, we can change our minds. Many peo-
ple insist that “it’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” I
wouldn’t quite go that far. We cannot change the circum-
stances of our childhoods, much less improve them at this late
date, but we can recall them honestly, reflect on them, under-
stand them, and thereby overcome their influence on us. With-
drawal can be turned to hope, compulsion to will, inhibition to
purpose, and inertia to competence through the exercise of
memory and understanding.
There are people who would argue with this, who claim that
our destiny resides wholly in our genes, that each of us is a
mere product of heredity. Others argue fervently that each of
us is an offspring of his or her environment and that our fate is
determined by our circumstances. Studies of identical twins
who have been raised separately indicate that there is more
truth to the first perspective. But the real answer to how we be-
come who we are is more complex.
Genetic research affirms that there is a strong hereditary
component to disease. Equally compelling research suggests that
stress and other environmental factors also affect our health.
Similarly, some scientists see the brain and heart as mere or-
gans, capable of nothing more than chemical reactions, while
others see the brain and heart as the locus of reason and emo-
tion, sophistication and poetry, all the qualities and capabilities
that separate us from the apes. And while there is neurobiolog-
ical evidence that part of the brain is hardwired prior to birth,
it is increasingly clear that the brain is also plastic in nature,
able to absorb and collate experiences that cause the brain itself
to change.
Knowing Yourself