To do anything well requires knowing what it is that you’re
doing, and you can only know what you’re really doing by
making the process conscious—reflecting on yourself, reflect-
ing on the task, and coming to a resolution.
As I mentioned in an earlier chapter, Erik Erikson sees our
development as a series of resolved conflicts, one for each stage
of life. He further postulates that until each conflict is resolved
positively, we cannot move to the next stage or conflict.
These conflicts are so basic, and resolving them is so vital,
that I’ve come to see them in much broader terms and a more
general frame than Erikson’s. We are subject to these conflicts
all of our lives, and the way we resolve them determines how
we will live. Here is how I would reframe them:
Conflicts Resolutions
Blind trust vs. Suspicion Hope
Independence vs. Dependence Autonomy
Initiative vs. Imitation Purpose
Industry vs. Inferiority Competence
Identity vs. Confusion Integrity
Intimacy vs. Isolation Empathy
Generosity vs. Selfishness Maturity
Illusion vs. Delusion WisdomPhysicist Neils Bohr said, “There are two kinds of truth,
small truth and great truth. You can recognize a small truth be-
cause its opposite is a falsehood. The opposite of a great truth
is another truth.”
Our lives are made less of small truths and falsehoods than
of great truths and the truths that are their opposites, which is
Deploying Yourself: Strike Hard, Try Everything