must have been six, I was lying in bed and looking up at the
stars and thinking, ‘There’re other planets out there, and
maybe there’s life on some of them, and the earth is enormous,
with millions of people, and everyone can’t be right all the
time, so my father could be wrong, and I could be right.’ It was
my own theory of relativity. Then, in high school, I began
reading the classics, and they were my transition in my own
life, away from my parents. I had my own private life, which I
could appreciate on its terms, and never talk to anyone else
about it until I had digested it for myself.”
Hufstedler, Knapp, and Gould clearly invented themselves,
just as the other leaders I talked with did. They overcame a va-
riety of obstacles in a variety of ways, but all stressed the im-
portance of self-knowledge.
Some start the process early, and some don’t do it until later.
It doesn’t matter. Self-knowledge, self-invention are lifetime
processes. Those people who struggled to know themselves
and become themselves as children or teenagers continue to-
day to explore their own depths, reflect on their experiences,
and test themselves. Others—like Roosevelt and Truman—un-
dertake their own remaking in midlife. Sometimes we simply
don’t like who we are or what we’re doing, and so we seek
change. Sometimes events, as in Truman’s case, require more
of us than we think we have. But all of us can find tangible and
intangible rewards in self-knowledge and self-control, because
if you go on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll go on get-
ting what you’ve always got—which may be less than you want
or deserve.
All of the leaders I talked with agreed that no one can teach
you how to become yourself, to take charge, to express your-
self, except you. But there are some things that others have
Knowing Yourself