Travels in a Tin Can

'No, cup of soup' (slowly and loudly)
'OK'.
'And a BLT'.
Waitress nodded and departed.
Quite soon the soup arrived, a bowl and a cup as ordered. My garlic
bread was next. This cost about two pounds, and I was expecting two small
slices of baguette - as you would get in most places in the UK - but I actually
got a whole basket filled with about a loaf of bread. This seemed too much
and we wondered if they had brought us two portions by mistake, so Emma
tucked in as well. A few minutes later and Emma's BLT had still not arrived,
OK we thought, no sandwich but enough garlic bread for two - fine. But then
the waitress came back to our table with a plate. As she approached I could
see that whatever was on the plate was too flat to be a sandwich, it was also
dark coloured. I thought she was bringing the sandwich in stages, in a bizarre
move, bacon first. But what she put down on the table was definitely not a
plate of bacon; it appeared to be a plate of squashed and fried slugs. We both
looked at the plate, then the waitress, then the plate again. Sensing our
confusion, our server pointed at the plate and said (in a very thick accent):
'Plantains'.
Emma shook her head and said: 'BLT'.
At this the woman nodded vigorously, pointed at the plate again and said:
'Plantains'.
More slowly this time Emma said: 'B-L-T', adding: 'I ordered a bacon, lettuce,
and tomato sandwich' when the poor woman still looked bemused.
'Oh' she said: 'BLT. OK.'