revealing their contents to us by saying things like: ‘Oh look, a hand-knitted
jumper, how lovely!’
Once we had repacked the bag we had to endure about two hours until our
flight departed - plenty of time to browse in the two branches of WHSmith and
get fleeced for breakfast. We also devised airport games to help the time pass
more quickly. Our favourite of these was to go to the arrivals area and then
take it in turns to 'arrive'. To do this you need to go behind the barrier with
your trolley and join the crowd filtering through from baggage claim. Then look
around with a vacant gaze as you approach the people waiting for family and
friends to arrive. Eventually you should spot your travel companion who will
be waiting with a large sign with your name on. If you are travelling alone then
we suggest that you walk up to a complete stranger and ask them if they are
waiting for you. Or, if you are feeling particularly friendly run up to someone
who is really arriving after a long flight and hug him or her like they are your
best friends. You may find that you will not be travelling alone for long. Or, you
may find that you get arrested and miss your real flight. Try it sometime.
The flight itself was fairly excruciating, consisting of eight hours of children
crying, and therefore a lack of the much-desired sleep that helps flights pass
more quickly. Well, I thought, at least there is television to watch. This, as it
turned out, was a misplaced hope. Television there was, but of a type to
endure rather than watch.
The film was "Monday Night Mayhem" (some "made for television"
movie about American Football) and this was followed by an episode of “The