If You Can’t Say Anything Nice,
Don’t Say Anything at All
It is very easy to moan, to complain, to criticize. It is much
harder to always find something nice to say about a situation
or a person. But think of it now as a huge challenge. Saying
something nice is hard because our natural inclination is to
moan. If someone asks how the weekend camping went, it’s
easier to start on the bad weather and the problems with the
campsite and the annoying behavior of the people in the next-
door trailer, than it is the joy of being with people you wanted
to be with and in a fantastic setting. When a friend asks how
you’re getting on with your boss, the things they do that really
annoy you usually spring to mind before the upsides.
No matter how horrid someone is, there is always something
about him that is good. Your job is to find that good bit and
highlight it, speak about it, draw attention to it. Same with a
situation that seems troublesome. I remember reading once of
someone who was on the Metro in Paris during a major strike.
It was chaos, and people were shoving and pushing. It was
pretty horrendous. There was a woman with a small child
there, and it could have been quite scary. She bent down to the
child and said quite brightly, “This, my dear, is what they call
an adventure.” It has become a pet phrase of mine in times of
crisis and trouble.
When asked your opinion of someone, something, some-
where, you need to find something good to say, something
flattering and positive. There is ample evidence that being pos-
itive has many benefits, but the most noticeable is that people
will gravitate toward you and not even know why. That posi-
tive air about you is attractive. People like being around those