this was a terrible thing to do. But once I had children of my
own, I realized that I had no way of assessing whether what
she did was OK. She already had five children, she was wid-
owed, and therefore the sole earner (in the 1950s, when that
was even harder than it is now), and she was working all
hours with no money for childcare. Would I have coped any
better in her circumstances? I can’t know.
This isn’t easy. I’m not just saying that we should think twice
before we form an opinion. I’m also saying that since we can’t
judge anyone else’s situation, we should keep quiet about their
choices in life. It’s not for us to tell even our nearest and dear-
est how we think they should act. For many of us, and I’m
certainly including myself here, this can be one of the hardest
Rules of all.
However, think about how you feel when people try to tell
you what to do. If you know what’s right for you, you don’t
appreciate other people telling you what they think. They
don’t understand. No, not even your closest family members
really understand what it’s like to be you. Even if you’re
making a mistake, you still want to be allowed to make it for
yourself and to learn from it. And that’s how we need to treat
everyone else around us. Tough, ain’t it? But necessary.
THINK ABOUT HOW YOU
FEEL WHEN PEOPLE TRY
TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.