about that vacation that will make them happy? Highlight
those aspects, and they’re more likely to agree. If you’re strug-
gling to think of anything that will appeal to them, you need
to think more broadly—maybe you can find a place where you
go horseback riding while they go fishing or sailing. You see
how it works. Just asking the question, “what’s in it for them?”
helps you think it through.
Being a parent is another area where this works. If you just lay
down the law without considering what your children want
and need, they’ll rebel or at least be difficult to handle. But
again ask “What’s in it for them?,” and you’ll see the situation
from their perspective and handle it better. Winner.
YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT,
BUT THEY FEEL THEY’VE
GOTTEN SOMETHING OUT
OF IT, TOO.