Do Compare Yourself with Other
People
This isn’t the original version of this book, you know.* In the
first edition (as in this one, I invited readers to email me their
own Rules. This particular one—which I couldn’t agree with
more—was suggested to me by a 16-year-old schoolboy from
India. I mention this for two reasons. First, because it just
goes to show that you’re never too young to follow the Rules.
And second, because I think it’s significant that this comes
from someone who is still in education and therefore expects
to learn from other people. It’s a Rule that demands a measure
of humility that all of us could do with (well, alright then, I
could do with).
People often tell us not to compare ourselves with others. The
argument for this is that it’s arrogant if we think we’re better,
and demoralizing if we think we’re worse. Also that we’re all
different, so the comparison can’t be accurate. However, when
you’re at work, you’re constantly set targets for performance,
and quite right, too. And, in fact, we should set our own
targets in our personal lives, as per Rule 29. And this applies
not only to our plans, but also to our own behavior and
development.
None of us is perfect—we all know that. We all wish we could
be more patient or kinder or more tolerant or harder working
or better parents or more sensible with money. But how much
more? The best way to decide where to aim is to use someone
you respect as a touchstone. “I’d like to be as well organized as
this person” or “as calm as that person.” You see? You’re com-
paring yourself to other people, but in a positive way. It means
*Don’t worry, you’re not missing out. This version is bigger and better.