want to work on the project and I had left the decision up to him. The program director was
a little skeptical about what would happen, but the next day the boy decided to join us.
A couple of days later, I was working with the camp newspaper committee and a substi-
tute counselor was with my group. Suddenly we were hit with the first big rain of the sea-
son. About 15 minutes into the storm, the counselor came to get me. The entire group ran
away and he had no idea where they were. I started to laugh and we set off to find them.
We located them on the road at the spot where we were fixing the drain. The boys wanted
to see how their work was holding up. When the counselor decided not to let them go be-
cause it was raining, they decided to go without him. After all, it was their work.
Lesson 5. Learn to laugh at yourself.In my first year at camp, I had an 11-year-old group
of boys. One of the campers had been abused as a child and was living in a group foster
home. To ingratiate himself with the other children, he would imitate the camp staff, prin-
cipally me. I was new on the job, stressed out, and the imitations drove me crazy. I thought
he was out to humiliate me in front of the other campers and I could not take it. I started
screaming at the group and lost control of myself and of them. It was a horrible 3 weeks.
Three years later I was assigned to work with the 14-year-old boys, including this same
young man. He immediately started doing imitations of me. Some of the other campers
knew him and me from previous years and they wondered what would happen. Before the
tension could mount, I laughed, gave him a high five and said something like, “Man, you
are good. You do me better than I do.” Then we gave each other a hello hug and the group
began to discuss all the things we wanted to do that summer.
Lesson 6. Use the “think” method.Playing softball with 8- to 10-year-olds can be an annoy-
ing experience. Most of the children find the sport too difficult. They get frustrated, the
games become long and boring, the field is hot and dry, and tempers are short. Finally, I
borrowed ideas from two popular movies,The Karate Kid(1984) andThe Music Man(1962),
to teach campers how to play.
InThe Karate Kid, the martial arts master has his young apprentice paint a fence and
wax a car using precise, repetitive motions. Once the apprentice can duplicate the mo-
tions, he is ready to practice karate. InThe Music Man, a con artist convinces a town that
its children can learn to play musical instruments by imagining that they are playing them
(hence, the “think” method).
I decided to break softball down into a few basic movements used for hitting, catching,
and throwing the ball. Campers practiced the movements without any equipment, kind of
like a baseball ballet. Then they would come to bat, without a bat, and learned to “see” the
pitch instead of guessing at its location and lunging at it. After a few days of the think
method, they were able to play softball.
Lesson 7. Ask them.Many of the younger children were homesick and a little scared, es-
pecially at night. At “lights out,” I walked from bed to bed, tucking in some of the children,
giving a few a peck on the forehead and a little hug, and just saying “good night” to others.
One of the counselors asked me how I decided which children got tucked in, who got
hugged and kissed, and who got a simple “good night.” I reflected for a few seconds and re-
sponded, “I ask them.”
Lesson 8. Given an opportunity, young people do amazing things.In 1971, the entire
camp held a 1-day “conference of struggle.” Each group of campers did a presentation on
ways that different groups of people struggled for freedom. Some of the presentations
were in the form of dance or drama. Other groups led songs or created artistic displays. At
the end of the conference, everyone (from children age 6 to adults in their 50s) partici-
pated in a discussion on the meaning of freedom. Given an opportunity, young people do
amazing things.RELATIONSHIPS 107