Teaching to Learn, Learning to Teach

(Nancy Kaufman) #1

she got pregnant with my sister. However, when she was older, she got her GED and an asso-
ciate’s degree. Most of the time we were on welfare or had social security and veterans bene-
fits because of my stepfather.
As a young girl I was really embarrassed about being on welfare. The kids in school made
fun of you if you were on welfare or had to use food stamps. From as early as kindergarten I
wanted to do well and make something out of my life. I wanted to be important, a profes-
sional with a good job. When I first started school I was sent to the resource room with other
kids for special help in reading. But I was faster than everyone else and eventually I was put
in a regular class. I was always a good math student, but I am not sure why. I remember that
when I was in kindergarten the teacher gave me a math game and I loved it. I must have been
lucky to have elementary school teachers with solid math backgrounds.
When I did well in seventh grade, they put me in the 8SPE class (special program enrich-
ment), but like Samuel, I was embarrassed and did not do that well. I did not fail, but I was
never in the top group. In ninth grade, I started to do well. It was the love of math that got
me through. I found high school easy. I was never concerned if teachers were boring. I fig-
ured they had a job to do and I had a job to do. I just went to class, took notes, and did my
homework. I got exceptional grades; I was always a 90 student, because I did my work.
I was always a quiet person and kept mostly to myself. I cannot think of any teachers who
reached out specially to help me before I got to college. My motivation to succeed came
from inside me. I joined the debate team because I wanted to compete against Samuel and
his school. The mock trial coach sought me out for the team but I quit because there were
students on the team who made fun of me because I was so nervous. When one of the cool
kids laughed at me, I quit. The coach never came after me to find out why.
My older sister had a baby when she was 14 years old. But she still graduated from high
school and went to a 2-year college. My mother and the rest of our family helped her pull
through. Luckily, I did not get pregnant, even though Samuel and I had unprotected sex. We
had a lot of free time together and did not really know what we were doing. We tried con-
doms and other methods but we were not always careful. If I got pregnant in high school, my
mother would have wanted me to have an abortion, but I think I would have kept it like my
sister. I always believed if you were dealt it, you could deal with it. I finally did get pregnant
with my son when I was eighteen and a freshman in college. I was frightened it would de-
stroy my dreams, but I would not let it. I took off one semester but then continued with my
plans. I did not want to be another Hispanic statistic.
I experimented with alcohol when I was 12 or 13 but I stopped. Samuel and I managed to
avoid drugs. I saw what it did to people in my family. Samuel was an athlete so he looked
down on drug use and alcohol. Samuel and I were together so we were able to resist peer
pressure to use drugs. We supported each other and protected each other.
I probably am a pretty traditional teacher. The big difference in what I do is that many math
teachers make things too complicated by using sophisticated mathematical language that in-
terferes with student learning. I always try to teach in ways that students will understand. As a
math teacher, I could have a higher paying job in the suburbs but I always promised myself
that I would return to the city. I feel an obligation to give back to young people growing up like
I did. Money was never the most important thing for me. I feel I could have done anything I
wanted to do, but I decided to become a math teacher in the city to make a difference.
A lot of my students remind me of myself, especially the girls. I am not sure if I do the best
job for them. I am a very private person. I do not like people to pry into my life and I try to
respect their privacy. I always feel I could do better as a teacher. The students say I am
good, but I do not feel I am good enough. There are still students I do not reach and I cannot
make them love math. I want to do more; I just do not know how to yet.


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