I remember a lot about school and growing up and how I felt about things. This will help
me be a good teacher. Some of my students feel that everyone else knows how to do some-
thing except them. They get easily embarrassed. One boy in my class did not want to say
that his favorite music was Spanish music. He thought he had to like rap or the other stu-
dents would make fun of him. I want to teach my students that they can be different from ev-
erybody else. They can be who they are.
***I Could Not Speak Englishby Jayne O’Neill
To look at her today, Jayne O’Neill is a typical young, harried, White, suburban mother, working
hard to both raise her family and continue her teaching career. What keeps her going is her mem-
ories of being a poor child of immigrant parents who was shunted aside in school because she
could not speak English.—Alan Singer
My parents came to this country from Czechoslovakia (now the Czech Republic) in 1969
without money and unable to speak English. My mother was already pregnant with me when
they arrived. My childhood in our new country was very difficult. My parents separated, and
my mother was forced to go on public assistance. There were days when she did not eat in
order to put food on my plate. Because I could not speak English, I was a lonely child and
school was very hard. I went to a Catholic school, but no one there spoke Czech, and there
was no ESL program.
In response to my loneliness and my uncertainty with English, I became very introverted
and stressful situations threw me into a tailspin. Whenever I had to take an exam I would feel
sick to my stomach. I was never invited to birthday parties because none of the other chil-
dren in my class could communicate with me. Once my mother came on a class trip with me.
It was awkward, but at least I had someone to talk with.
Memory is a funny thing. Looking back, it is as if I woke up one day and decided to change
my entire life. I imagine I was 13 years old at the time I underwent this metamorphosis. I be-
came more outgoing, less crippled by my family situation, and able to make friends. I still
was not a good student and even after college I was not sure what I wanted to do with my
life. My mother had remarried and had two more children, much younger than myself. I
found I enjoyed being around them and decided to try teaching.
At my first teaching job, the principal was very demanding and I had a very difficult time.
He gave me a poor initial evaluation and I started to feel I had made the wrong decision by
becoming a teacher. Worse, I found myself slipping backward personally, once again becom-
ing that lonely introverted girl unable to speak English and unable to stand up for herself. I
could not accept this. Finally, I marshaled all of my inner strength and went to speak to him.
Basically I said, “What do I have to do to become a good teacher?” From that day on his atti-
tude toward me changed. But more important, my attitude toward myself changed and I be-
gan to improve.
My experiences growing up with immigrant parents, living in poverty, and unable to
speak English made me strong and are the keys to my teaching. Currently, I work in a voca-
tional program where most of my students are from families that recently immigrated from
Spanish-speaking countries. Sometimes I wonder what my students see when they look at
me. I know that when I look at them I remember that I was once in their position. I know how
hard the road is. With my help, I know they can succeed.
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