(^38) | marieclaire.com.au
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I have 75,000 followers on Facebook, 123,000 on
Instagram and 38,000 on Twitter but, for me, social
media has never been about the number of followers
or likes. Instead, I view it as a way for me to connect
to real people, hear their stories and help in any
small way I can. When I first started off in TV [on
The Real Housewives of Melbourne in 2014], I had
some anxiety about what people would say about
me on social media. I remember my husband, Ben
[G i l lies, of Silverchair], sat me down and told me,
“You’re going to have people who love you and people
who hate you. Some people are absolute garbage on
Twitter and you need to be prepared for them to write
shit about you. Do not read it. Do not take it on.”
Ben was right. When The Real Housewives started
airing, I had people say, “You’re so ugly and disgusting,
you shouldn’t be on television,” and, “I don’t even know
why you’re alive.” I’ve been fat-shamed, accused of
being a crazy alcoholic and called an Aussie bogan
and a filthy animal. The worst thing is when they’ve
said, “Go die”, and, “I hope your family dies.” It was
pretty horrendous. If I didn’t have the support of
my loved ones and Ben’s advice, I honestly don’t
know how I would have acted.
I feel like women are quick to put each other
down on social media; they can be very judgemental
creatures. I know that, because I used to be one. In
the first chapter of my new book, Shine It Up, I talk
about a period in my life
when I was in a toxic
relationship and depressed.
I was angry at the world
and quick to point out the
negatives. It’s only when
I took responsibility for my
life and rid myself of that
toxicity that I discovered my own self-worth.
As women, we need to raise each other up,
not tear each other down. I think it’s so important
to be authentic. I do not alter the way I look in my
photos, because I’m proud of who I am. I don’t use
Photoshop, face filters or suck in my gut in selfies.
I want my followers to know nobody’s perfect.
I think we all have a duty to try to inspire one
another on social media. I’ve had parents come in
[for a psychic reading] saying their child doesn’t
even want to go out – they feel ugly because they
don’t look like the models on Instagram. We have
a responsibility to teach girls that social media isn’t
real. The only reason an influencer looks so good in
a bikini is because she has a personal trainer, make-
up artist, daily spray tan, professional photographer
and great lighting. I want to teach young girls that
true happiness comes from having a purpose – not
[through] a massive Facebook following.
Because I’m confident in who I am, I don’t
compare myself to others and I don’t allow the
hateful comments I receive to get the best of me.
I don’t react, because I know that person sitting
behind their keyboard is so incredibly unhappy
with their own life they’re trying to bring
others down with them.
People are becoming addicted to their phones
and I think it’s so important to take time out from
our screens and social media. My most joyous
memories are those where I’ve been able to appreciate
the stillness – without my phone.
Shine It Up (Hachette, $32.99) is out now.
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SOCIAL MEDIA
BULLYING
The reality TV star and psychic medium has
faced cruel comments online, mostly from
women. Now she’s hitting back – with kindness
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT...
“I FEEL LIKE
WOMEN ARE
QUICK TO PUT
EACH OTHER
DOWN ONLINE”
marty
(Marty)
#1