“It’s not really a bother.”
“Yeah, right.”POINT OUT THAT WORRY IS THE PROBLEM. If you follow most any line
of questioning outward from a danger is everywhereexplosion, you’ll even-
tually get to a place where the anxious person has to agree that the worry
is a bigger problem than whatever she was worrying about. The more you
employ this sort of reasoning, the quicker it will go next time.
ASK FOR ACTION TO DEAL WIT HT HE WORRY. The way to get over fear
disorders is by taking small steps in the right direction. Each one counts.
“Catherine, have you been listening to that relaxation tape the
doctor gave you?”
“Well, no. Not lately; I’ve been too busy.”
“Too busy worrying about everybody else’s health to take
care of your own?”
“I guess so.”
“You know what you need to do, don’t you?”If Catherine is in treatment, then in addition to relaxation tapes and
exercise, she’ll also probably be working on cognitive techniques that help
her place her worries in perspective, assess their actual danger, and then
to take more constructive action. You already know something about cog-
nitive techniques; you’ve just done one with her.
SUGGEST SCHEDULED WORRYING. Worry, because of its magical prop-
erties, is hard to give up. If Catherine stopped worrying about her son’s
health, she’d feel that she wasn’t doing her job as a parent. Her worrying,
destructive though it may be, is still an act of love. Don’t tell her to stop.
Instead, propose that she worry on schedule.
The difference between constructive worrying and anxiety involves
time as well as content. Thirty minutes of worrying a day can prevent
people from making stupid mistakes; more than that can distract from
useful problem solving by making problems bigger than they actually are.
Schedule worrying in two 15-minute periods a day. One should be
about an hour before bedtime. It may help prevent the next explosion.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder ❧ 135