lowing programs to limit worry in order to get to sleep is a form of positive
control that may divert anxious people from more negative and damaging
pursuits, like trying to control you.
Dealing with Control Freaks
It’s no secret that some anxious people try to protect themselves by con-
trolling other people. You know who they are. They run your company,
they taught you in school, and they probably even live in your house. Come
to think of it, control freaks are everywhere. They’ve been on your case
since you were a kid, trying to run your life, always telling you what you
did wrong, never what you did right, like the time your dad ...
I did tell you about the power of unresolved adolescent authority
issues, didn’t I?
The first and most important thing you have to know to deal effec-
tively with control freaks is that the perception of control is in the eye of
the beholder. What you see is what you expect, regardless of what’s there. If
you’re the sort who doesn’t like to be told what to do, everybodyis a control
freak. A word to the wise is sufficient.
The I Can’t Believe You’d ForgetExplosion
Here’s a catastrophic thought: What if Catherine were yourboss? Now
who would have the job from hell?
“Did you fill out the pink form that goes to the state?” Catherine
asks.
“Uh,” you say, playing for time. “I was busy, and I wasn’t
really sure when you were supposed to fill them out except
when—”
“ Do you mean to tell me that you sent off everything else,
without filling out the state form? Omigod, do you know what
kind of trouble we can get in for not sending those in at the same
time? There are fines, penalties, and even criminal charges.”Control freaks see themselves as overburdened with the task of pro-
tecting an ungrateful world from mistakes. Fear is, of course, at the heart
of their neurotic need.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder ❧ 139