SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE WEAPON. Your first move should be
to get Alonzo’s guns or Rachel’s pills. Ask for them immediately.
“Buddy, you’re scaring me,” you say. “I know we can get through
this, but I want that gun for safekeeping right now. That one,
and whatever other guns you have in the house.”The reason for this is obvious. It takes less than a second to pull a trigger.
If you’re not comfortable with having guns in your home, arrange
for Alonzo to give them to someone else, perhaps the police. Make sure
you ask for all his firearms. Many gun owners have more than one.
If Alonzo does give you his guns, he will at least be safe from them.
It won’t stop him from using other means to do himself in, but everything
else is slower and requires more thought and effort.
If he won’t give you his guns, you need to involve someone else more
qualified. If he’s seeing a mental health professional, call that person. Say,
“This is a suicidal emergency regarding Alonzo ____,” or it will take all
day to get a return call. If Alonzo isn’t seeing a professional, call the crisis
hotline. Most cities have them; they’re usually listed on the inside front
cover of the phone book. If there isn’t one where you are, call the police
business number—not 911 at this point.
Obviously, if you don’t feel you know Alonzo well enough to ask for
his guns or to contact the authorities if he doesn’t hand them over, you
need to enlist the aid of someone closer to him, perhaps a relative. If sep-
aration is involved, don’t call the ex-spouse! There’s no point in pouring
gasoline on the fire.
Before I say more, and raise your anxiety level even further, I should
point out that Alonzo’s life is probably not at stake. Remember, actual suicides
are rare—far less frequent than heart attacks and fatal car accidents. You might
regard what I’m saying here in much the same way you would information
from a CPR class. It’s nice to know, but you’ll probably never need it.
The nightmare scenario is if someone like Alonzo calls you in the
middle of the night, drunk and suicidal. This will probably never happen
to you. It seldom does, even to mental health professionals, but it has hap-
pened to me many times in my years as a crisis worker. This situation is a
police emergency; call 911.You don’t want an intoxicated person driving
somewhere to give up his gun, nor do you yourself want to enter the house
The Psychology of Depression ❧ 195