of a person who is armed and intoxicated. The chance for accidents is too
high for amateurs. If possible, keep Alonzo on the phone while someone
else calls 911 at a neighbor’s or on a cell phone. You’ll need his address or
phone number so the police can find him.
You don’t have to hide what you’re doing. Make it clear that you’re
calling the police because ofyour need to know he’s safe, rather than his
need to be protected.
“Alonzo, I’m really afraid for you, and I’m not qualified to deal
with this. I’m going to call 911 to get you some help right now.”
“You don’t have to do that, man. I’ll be okay. I’m just going
to go to sleep.”
“Alonzo, you’re not okay. You wouldn’t have called if you were
okay. Now I need to know that you’re safe. I couldn’t live with myself
if I didn’t call 911. When they tell me you’re okay, I’ll believe it.”Alonzo is calling because his pain has exceeded his ability to deal with
it. He’s giving the situation to you to handle because he doesn’t know how
to handle it himself. Chances are good that he will do exactly what you tell
him to do. Don’t be afraid of overreacting! It is the most therapeutic thing
you can do.
Often, when you mention 911, suicidal people will minimize the dan-
ger as Alonzo did. They are probably being honest, but it isn’t your deci-
sion. The police have experience with such situations, you don’t. Laws and
procedures differ from state to state, but what will probably happen as a
result of your call is a mandatory evaluation with a mental health profes-
sional. For years I did such evaluations, and I can tell you that there is no
more effective time for a therapeutic intervention, because at that moment
you have people’s undivided attention.
I must also tell you that on extremely rare occasions suicidal people tell
police, friends, or mental health professionals what it takes to get released, then
just go home and kill themselves anyway. This has happened to me twice dur-
ing a 30-year career of dealing regularly with suicidal people. Do not hesitate
to make the call. The odds of helping are slanted overwhelmingly in your favor.
With Rachel, even though you know that she isn’t in a great deal of
danger, you should still treat the situation as a life and death emergency.
If she isn’t intoxicated, demand that she bring her pills to you, or some-
196 ❧Explosions into Sadness