“Rachel, I just realized how frightened you are.”
“Who wouldn’t be frightened? There’s so much to be
afraid of.”
“I know, but the only way to deal with fear is to turn
around and move toward it one little step at a time. Let’s start
with a walk in the park. While we’re there, we can decide what
the next step might be.”The ultimate cure for depression is recognizing that there is no ulti-
mate cure. There are many things that help—medication, psychotherapy,
and the support of friends and family—but nothing by itself will make
depressed people well except their own moment to moment choices. They
must see themselves as living perpetually at a choice point. The path that
looks easiest usually leads deeper into despair. The way out is to take the
road that is less certain and more frightening, and travel it one step at a time.
The only thing that makes the choice easier is that depressed people have
seen what lies at the other end.
Rachel, Carol, and Randy all got up and started moving away from
depression. Carol is working to manage her agitation with enforced relax-
ation and setting limits on what she does for others.
Randy is dealing with stress a little at a time rather than running
away from it. He’s been doing volunteer work and is now looking for a real
paying job.
Rachel is back on medication, exercising her buns off to keep from
gaining weight. She hasn’t found a long-term relationship yet, but she has
kissed a few frogs. xShe’s also working on a more adult relationship with
her mother. And her friends. There are no more middle of the night calls.
If there are depressed people in your life, remember that you can’t
make them feel better. The way to help them is to be there at the cross-
roads as a guide, pointing them in the right direction, encouraging them
to stay with small actions that help a little, rather than thrashing about in
search of the magical cure that will make them feel well enough to do the
things that will make them feel better. Happiness is not the end of the
road, it is the journey.
200 ❧Explosions into Sadness