the tiniest infractions. To obsessive-compulsives, punishment is good for the
soul, and even the slightest word of praise will lead to terminal indolence.
Jenna, the wicked witch, uses her perfectionism the way overseers use
whips. And with the same relish.
Like most obsessive-compulsives, she doesn’t consider herself an angry
person because she never yells. She prefers more civilized punishments, like
flaying you alive with constructive criticism. If you asked, she would point
out with pride that she is muchharder on herself than she is on you.
NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER. Have you ever noticed that peo-
ple with huge egos tend to be really tiny everywhere else? All narcissists
want is to live out their grandiose fantasies of being treated as the smartest,
most talented, and all-around best people in the world. It’s not so much
that they think they’re better than other people, but rather that they don’t
think of other people at all.
Narcissists are legends in their own minds. They’ll explode into
anger if you get in their way, make them look bad, or expect them to live
by the rules of mere mortals. They belive they’re entitled to far more.
Though Brandon is mostly antisocial, his belief that the shoulder of the
road was built to be his personal lane is pure narcissism.
Though there is plenty of narcissism without greatness, there is no
greatness without narcissism. It will be easy to see narcissistic tendencies
in your boss, and just as easy for your subordinates to see them in you. It
will be almost impossible for you to see them in yourself.
Narcissists never laugh at their own foibles. Teasing one is like juggling
bottles of nitroglycerine.
PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER. In common parlance, paranoid
means thinking people are after you. Paranoia is really an almost preter-
natural sensitivity that enables people to see things that others can’t, coupled
with the naive belief that the world is either black or white. Paranoids want
to banish all ambiguity from their lives by discovering the Truth, using
torture if necessary. Paranoids live by concrete rules, like David’s about
punctuality. Their idea of disloyalty is forgetting one of the 1001 prefer-
ences they mistake for natural law; their idea of infidelity is speaking the
name of a former lover. Paranoids believe you should live by the letter of
212 ❧Explosions into Anger