Even if we don’t have much in the way of biochemical explanations
as to why one person would choose to fight and another to fly, recognizing
activation of the sympathetic system is even more important in anger than
in fear. With fear disorders, the goal is to be able to tolerate excessive
arousal; with anger, the goal is to prevent it. This is only possible if you
can recognize arousal almost as soon as it begins.
Unlike people with fear disorders, angry people are not afraid of their
sympathetic systems. Sometimes they like them very much. Bubbling
anger makes them feel focused, invigorated, and right. Instead of worrying
about the strange sensations in their bodies, angry people pay more atten-
tion to external events, which they convince themselves are the source of
their arousal. When they finally explode, they believe they’re driven to it.
They are seldom aware of the effort they’ve invested in fanning the sparks
of irritation into bright, cleansing flames of anger.
Unlike fear, anger is a cathartic process. People explode, and their
agitation dissipates, leaving them relaxed and calmer. Often, they pride
themselves on how clean and straightforward their anger is: Something
happens, they blow up, and then it’s all over. To them it’s a natural, healthy
activity, much like passing digestive gas. If other people are offended, well,
that’s their problem.
Actually, the possibilityof cathartic release is the real problem. Work-
ing themselves up and then blowing out all the tension in one orgasmic
blast is a powerful positive reinforcer. It makes the whole chain of thoughts
and actions that lead up to it more likely to happen again, whether the
people doing it are aware of it or not. The fact that the cathartic outbursts
don’t always occur actually makes the effect stronger, because behaviors
automatically increase when their rewards are unpredictable. Slot
machines exploit this same principle. It is also behind what’s often called
psychological addiction.Only rarely does a subsequent dose of any sub-
stance have the same pleasant effect as the first sip, snort, or toke of the
evening, but the chance that it might is what keeps addicts sipping, snorting,
and toking. The possibilityof reward has a much stronger effect on
behavior than does the reward itself. Hope springs eternal.
Angry people are often psychologically addicted to the process of
getting angry. Despite the fact that their anger can feel bad, and may have
very unpleasant consequences, the early stages are exciting and sometimes
218 ❧Explosions into Anger