Increasing activity level is far more effective than some of the more
passive techniques for controlling hyperventilation, like breathing into a
paper bag. As we’ll see in the section on fear, unless you know exactly how
to administer them, these passive techniques can make the hyperventi-
lating worse.
Getting Jane up and moving is the fastest and safest way to shift her
physiological state back to normal.
TALK HER THROUGH IT. Jane’s internal alarm system is telling her she’s
in danger, but you know she isn’t. The only thing she has to fear is fear itself.
Tell her.
As you dash around the mall, remind her that it’s just another one
of those pesky panic attacks, and that she’ll be fine. Encourage her to
observe the panic rather than respond to it. A good way to do this is to get
her to compare this panic attack with others she’s experienced. Ask how
she’d rate it on the Richter scale.
Don’t forget to talk yourself through it too.
IGNORE PROTESTS AND CATASTROPHIC EXPECTATIONS. Throughout
this process, Jane will probably be saying things like, “I can’t take it! I feel
like I’m going to die! I’ve got to get out of here or I’m just going to
explode!” She may also resort to giving orders, like, “Take me home this
instant!” or attempt to play on your sympathy by saying things like, “If you
really cared about me, you wouldn’t be playing this silly game.” If she says
things like this, it means you’re doing it right.
Jane may sit down and refuse to budge, in which case you should just
walk on until you’re out of speaking range but still in sight. Wait where
she can see you, but don’t look at her unless you want to see a heart-
wrenching display of distress. Jane will most likely catch up when she real-
izes you aren’t coming back.
It’s possible that Jane will make a run for the car. If she does, just
take her home and discuss it later.
DEBRIEF WHEN THE INCIDENT IS OVER. After the attack, Jane will feel
really stupid. She’ll be embarrassed about losing control in public, and
remorseful about all the snippy things she said and did when you were
14 ❧Emotional Explosions