make eye contact and nod. Just as you do, she knocks over her
glass, spilling half a beer into her lap.
You grab some napkins and come to her aid, handing some
to her and using some yourself, leaning in front of her to wipe
up the beer that’s still dripping off the bar.
A rough hand grabs your shoulder and yanks you back.
“What are you doing, messing with my wife?”The most common cause for violence is the defense of territory. The
characters and the situations may differ, but the story is the same. Here
are its elements:
INSIDERS AND OUTSIDERS. Insiders have something; outsiders want it.
Usually, the distinction exists only in someone’s imagination, but as we’ve
seen, that doesn’t matter.
The size of the stakes or whether they’re really at risk have little
relation to the strength of feeling. It’s always the principle. You could tell
Brandon (you knew it was him) that you had no designs whatsoever on
his wife, and it wouldn’t make any difference. Jealousy is in the eye of the
beholder more often than in the actions of the beheld.
Sharing is never an option. The forest may be full of food, and the
high school steps broad enough to hold hundreds of kids. None of it makes
any difference.
ASSERTING DOMINANCE. The battle begins with the insiders signaling
their dominance. There are a thousand ways this can be done; physical
posturing and teasing are common among chimps, adolescents, and radio
hosts. Among adults, a typical technique is using authority to intimidate
whomever might flaunt it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the audit suggests that we lost almost
$10,000 to employee pilfering last year. This is absolutely
unacceptable. Based on the recommendations of our security
consultants, the executive committee devised a new policy of
zero-tolerance for theft. The details, to be distributed to your
departments, are in the red folders at your places. I will go over
the major elements now.
The CEO switches on the PowerPoint projector.The Instinct for Anger ❧ 231