only trying to help. She will probably suggest that you’d have to be crazy
to want to go shopping with her again.
Maybe you’d have to be, but that’s up to you to decide. If you’re
going shopping with her again, tell her that instead of apologies, you’d like
to talk objectively about what happened and what you both can do to make
the situation go better next time. Be sure to point out that facing fear is
still an act of courage, no matter how silly you may look or feel while you
are doing it.
In the section on explosions into fear we’ll examine Jane and her
panic attacks in more detail, including how she finally cured herself with
a little psychotherapy from me, and a lot of courage. We’ll also look at
many other fear-related explosive conditions, including phobias, worry,
generalized anxiety, and post-traumatic stress.
An Explosion into Sadness
Now that Jane is more or less taken care of, let’s go back to that tearful
coworker—call her Rachel—whom we left sitting in your office, Kleenex in
hand, saying that she’s a terrible person who never does anything right. Let’s
look at what goes on between you and Rachel as she explodes into sadness.
Rachel, like Jane, is in the grip of the fight or flight response, but in
her case there is an external cause for her arousal, albeit small, rather than
random malfunction of the system. Explosions into sadness are usually a
response to a feeling of loss. In Rachel’s case, let’s say she made a mistake
and was criticized by her manager. A loss of face like this would be diffi-
cult for anyone, but for Rachel it is devastating because her mind can turn
a small setback into the harbinger of losing everything she values.
Like all explosive people, Rachel blows things out of proportion,
which means she responds to her fantasies of what mighthappen instead
of what is actually going on. This overresponse starts as a protective mea-
sure. In the case of physical danger, the first indicator is usually something
small—a sound, a smell, or a movement in the periphery of vision. The
fight or flight response sharpens the senses so they can scan for signs of
danger. In explosive people like Rachel, the scanning process itself
becomes the danger. Here’s how it happens:
The Blast Zone ❧ 15