do no harm, and probably help, but slowly. The harm is done by would-be
therapists who are influenced by psychoanalytic ideas but haven’t spent
the years of training it takes to become an analyst.
Brandon finally went into rehab for his alcohol problems. Just
being clean and sober helped him to control some of his more
flagrant explosions into anger. He stopped following drivers who
honked at him, which was a definite improvement.
In one of his treatment groups, Brandon learned that the
source of his anger was growing up with an alcoholic, physically
abusive father. His inner child was suffused with shame and
pent-up rage that Brandon was encouraged to express by yelling
at an empty chair. His outbursts were followed by tears, then
hugs and words of encouragement from the group.Here’s a secret that all therapists know: There’s nothing easier than
working people up to a fever pitch of emotion. Clients love it, and they come
back for it again and again. They feel like they’ve done really good work,
but it’s mostly sound and fury. Cathartic approaches can make emotional
control problems worse by endorsing excess as “getting out real feelings.”
Also, by convincing people that they’re victims, these therapies may
inadvertently give patients permission to victimize, or at least to take
advantage of others.
“Brandon,” his wife says, “don’t forget we have the school program
tonight at seven.”
“You know I have a meeting.”
“But you go to meetings every night.”
“Meetings are something I do for me. They keep me sober,
and you know that right now my sobriety is the most important
thing in my life.”
“More important than your kids?”
“Quit trying to guilt-trip me! You were the one who made
me get into treatment in the first place. Now I’m working my
program, and you’re still not satisfied. I don’t know what it is
with you. You’re starting to sound just like my father.”240 ❧Explosions into Anger