How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People

cross examination; then, quicker than you can say kangaroo, you’re con-
victed. If want to keep your job, there is no appeal.
Before you get worked up about the injustice of it all, consider this:
The trial is usually far worse than the sentence, especially when the crime
is independent thinking, which she can’t legally punish nearly so much as
it deserves. So the trial itselfisthe punishment.
Structuring the situation this way allows your persecutor to do, with
some legitimacy, all the things that angry people do to work themselves
up to cathartic eruption. Usually the centerpiece of this legal charade is
repetitious reading of the indictment. Each retelling makes the offense
more unpardonable. It’s just plain old rumination dressed up in a black
robe. Chewing you out generally makes the person doing it angrier.
It’s not as if Jenna has been carrying around a load of anger, waiting
to dump it on you to get it off her chest. She may have some basic points to
cover, but she’s manufacturing most of the anger as she goes along.
Remember that before you say anything that will add fuel to the fire.

“Now,” Jenna says, after an endless opening statement, “look at

this paragraph. What kind of idiot would commit to this kind of

pricing structure? It’s ridiculous!

Of course, the managing partner himself told you to do it, and Jenna
gave you the figures. You have the actual memo! You now have a choice
worthy of Jean Valjean. If you remain silent, you may be convicted of the
one crime you can prove you didn’t commit. If you speak, you may escape
conviction only to find yourself damned.
The way to save your soul is to recognize that what looks like a trial
is really no such thing. It’s a trap, a great big whyquestion, an excuse to
draw you into incriminating yourself with your own explanations, which
your angry boss will just twist around and add to the indictment, making
it even more infuriating on the next reading. You can use the spurious
legal structure to your own advantage if you plead nolo contendereand
move on to the penalty phase.
Let’s go back to the opening gavel.

Jenna sits behind her desk, scowling at your proposal and shaking

her head. “I don’t believe this!” she says. “Do you have any idea

258 ❧Explosions into Anger