how much we could lose if this bid went out as you’ve written it?”
Her eyes bore into you as she takes a deep breath, preparing to
answer her own question.
Boldly, like Perry Mason, you say, “I’m really sorry. I’ll fix
it immediately. What would you like me to do first?”If you don’t defend yourself, there’s no trial. Jenna has to sentence you
before she even reads the indictment. She will undoubtedly keep trying.
Each time, you should contritely ask, “What would you like me to do?”
Eventually, by the rules of her own court, she will have to answer. All you
have to do is recognize that if it’s not a real trial, you gain nothing by
protesting your innocence.
HOW TO APPEAL. No one should have to endure harassment on the job.
However, in order to get it to stop, you must convince someone in authority
that it’s happening. Obviously, you have to present your case verycarefully.
You want to look like an emotionally stable professional with the highest
regard for the company. Unless you intend to bring charges, don’t use
inflammatory words like harassment, discrimination, retaliation, or hostile
work environment. Even then, let your lawyer do it.
If you’re representing yourself, provide unembellished, understated
facts and witnesses, if possible. Bear in mind that everything you say is on
the record. It will be presented to your harassing boss and defended in pri-
vate. The case will be judged by character as much as by facts. One provable
exaggeration might get it thrown out.
Appeals for help are handled differently in every company. I can only
offer a very general outline. Talk to a human resources person to find out
the rules and procedures where you are. Watch his or her reactions closely
to find out about rules that aren’t written down. If the H.R. person is not
enthusiastic, you won’t get much of a hearing from anyone else.
IFYOU’RE THE JUDGE HEARING AN APPEAL. Always remember two little
details we learned in the chapter on ethology: First, that exclusion by the in-
group, whether active (by bullying) or passive (by ignoring), is considered an
aggressive act by out-group members. And second, that in-groups enforce sol-
idarity.
The invisible pressure on you will be to side with the person closest
to you in rank, automatically labeling the complainer as a malcontent like
The Psychology of Anger ❧ 259