own, involving personal insults, apologies are probably not necessary.
Instead, form an action plan to deal with the problem.
GET SPECIFIC. Finding out that your subordinates are discontented is
embarrassing, but it’s not the end of the world. If you handle it right, it
may just be the beginning. Break the problem down into questions that
need to be answered, decisions that need to be made, and actions that need
to be taken. To do this, it may be useful to consult a therapist or consul-
tant with a knowledge of your industry. It may take an unbiased outsider
to help you decide who actually owns the problem, and to advise you about
what to do to solve it.
Why We’ve Spent So Many Pages on a Single Step
The first step is the big one. There’s little point in treating anger control
problems unless the people being treated recognize that anger is their
problem. Getting to this point, as we have seen, involves therapeutic skill,
as well as courage and perseverance on the part of friends, family, and
coworkers. The first step requires art. After that, the rest is merely science.
Step 2: Physical Control
The science involved in treating anger control problems is relatively simple.
You teach angry people to do things that are incompatible with anger. As
in other disorders, the control strategies start with external devices and
move inward.
THE DUCT TAPE SOLUTION. Once angry people recognize that anger is
their problem, I try and find out what sort of internal resources they have
for controlling it. I call this applying “the duct tape solution.”
“David,” I say. “It seems to me that your problem with anger is like
drinking for an alcoholic—once you get started, you can’t stop.”
David hangs his head.
“Now that you recognize the problem, we can do some-
thing about it. Over the next few weeks, we’ll work on techniques
to help you get some control. This next one is hard. It will take
all the strength and courage you’ve got.”264 ❧Explosions into Anger