Therapists may be tricky, but unlike stage magicians, they are obligated
to explain their tricks when asked. Therapy does not require deception or
blind belief.
Using the Past as a Tool for Change, Not Merely to Explain the Present
Everybody expects therapists to ask about childhood. The expectation is
so strong that therapists sometimes do it almost without thinking. In my
opinion, much therapeutic time is wasted trying to discover why people
act the way they do. The most important question isn’t Why?but, What
are we going to do about it?
Flexibilit y
A therapist must be able reach out. He or she must go where clients are, think
like they do, and speak their language, not just the jargon of a theoretical
approach. Though many of my colleagues would disagree, I think a thera-
pist is a therapist first and a psychoanalyst, Jungian, behavioral cognitive
therapist, or whatever else second. One thing I hope you’ve gleaned from
this book is that no single theoretical position can conceptualize the whole
of any mental disorder. Good therapists, regardless of orientation, do pretty
much the same things. Less skillful therapists cleave to their techniques
and recipes as if they were therapy itself.
Therapy is a journey from one specific place to another. The desti-
nation should be clear, and agreed upon before starting. Techniques are
merely a road map. If one path is blocked, there’s always an alternate route.
Good therapists know many different routes, but even they sometimes get
lost. If they do, the pros stop and ask for directions.
What’s Not Important in Choosing a Therapist?
Sex, ethnicity, politics, religion, or personal experience. People often think
that therapists with certain personal characteristics will understand them
better. This is not only not true, but at times harmfully false. A physician
does not need to have kidney failure to treat it effectively. Therapists are
trained to understand experiences very different from their own, and to put
their needs and views aside to focus on the client’s problems. Any therapist
who cannot do this is in the wrong profession.
Again, think like a therapist. Why would clients believe that one kind
of person would help them more than another? Perhaps they think that
282 ❧Explosions into Anger