Trying to convince an angry person that something isn’t your fault
is worse than having it be your fault. Trust me on this.
ASK, “WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO?” What could be more sim-
ple and more unexpected than asking Brandon what he wants you to do?
He probably won’t know, so he’ll have to stop and think. This, at least, is
what you want him to do. Some subtlety is required, especially if you’re irri-
tated. If you put the emphasis in the sentence on like or do, it’s a question.
If you put the emphasis on me, it’s an insult. Try reading these aloud:
What would you likeme to do?
What would you like me to do?
What would you like meto do?It also makes sense to ask because you really don’t know what Bran-
don wants. Maybe he’ll ask you to cancel the late charge, or maybe he’ll
be satisfied with having you stand there for another couple of minutes
while he yells at you. You never know. Even if you’re certain that Bran-
don is trying to manipulate you into removing the late charge, you should
still ask him what he wants.
Getting an explosive person to ask for what he wants is a critical step.
It moves the situation from an ambiguous display of emotion to a negoti-
ation with a specific and stated goal. If Brandon tells you what he wants,
he is making an implicit contract to be satisfied if he gets it. Your role
changes from target to the person who can decide whether or not to grant
his request. All it takes is one simple question that you wouldn’t ask if you
assumed you already knew what he wanted.
NEGOTIATE. With angry people you can be right or effective; take your
pick. Probably the late charge is more than justified, but don’t let that blind
you to the possibility of putting Brandon in your debt by canceling his.
Playing the Numbers
How likely are you to encounter an emotional explosion? It’s almost a cer-
tainty that you’ll encounter one at some time or another.
The Blast Zone ❧ 25