The third reason the different beliefs and opinions of experts must be
considered is that emotional explosions are not just symptoms of personal
disorder, they are complex social interactions. Regardless of which person
is diagnosable, what happens will depend on whatbothof you say and do.
Nothing escalates an emotional situation faster than turning it into a strug-
gle between right and wrong. When we think we’re right, we have a hard
time thinking anything else, which is as true of mental health experts as
with any of us. Remember the fable of the blind men and the elephant.
Each man knew of only one part of the elephant—the trunk, knee, side,
ear, or tail; and each, respectively, thought the whole elephant was like a
snake, tree, wall, fan, or rope. We do the most damage when we mistake our
beliefs about how things should be for how they actually are.
Here are some of the questions that are up for debate. The answer is
all of the above; all are correct, but none is complete.
Sickness or Weakness?
By far the most commonly held view, even in this enlightened age, is that
mental disorders don’t really exist, that overly emotional behavior is caused
by a deficiency in character, perhaps lack of willpower. Nobody says this
out loud, of course, but many people believe it, or act as if they do. At the
gut level, mental disorders still carry a lot of negative baggage. Referring
someone to a psychiatrist is like, well, telling him to get his head exam-
ined. Think of all the humorous expressions for mental illness—freaking
out, losing your marbles, being half a bubble off the mark, or two bricks
shy of a load. Speaking of jokes, check your mental health coverage. Or
check yourself. Let’s put it this way: Would you be as willing to admit to
depression as to diabetes? And even if you did admit to depression, would
you recognize it as a disorder of perception that causes you to see every-
thing, even your own distress, in the worst possible light, or would you just
think of it as lack of willpower?
Jane’s Anxiety
People have no trouble believing in mental disorders in the abstract, but
when they come face-to-face with symptoms, their belief falters.
30 ❧Emotional Explosions