The woman’s voice is tight and shrill. “What’s happening?
What’s wrong with the elevator? Why won’t it go?” She pulls at
her collar, panting. “Omigod, I’m getting claustrophobia. I can’t
breathe. I’ve got to get out of here!”
I look around. Nobody else seems to be doing anything to
help her. I guess it’s up to me.
“It’s okay,” I say. “The elevator gets stuck like this. There’s
some sort of loose thing that they can’t get to work right. It just
takes a few minutes to fix it. That guy’s already called for repair,
so we just have to wait while they—”
“I can’t take this! Can’t somebody get the door open?” The
woman is almost shrieking now. “I’ve got to get out of here. I
can’t breathe.”
She begins to cry, and I realize that explaining the
mechanics of elevator repair is not going to work. I take a deep
breath, and shift mental gears.
“Hey!” I say, loudly enough to get her attention. “It’s going
to be okay. The elevator gets stuck like this. You’re going to be
okay. We’re all going to be okay.
“Just take a deep breath.” I take one to show her how.
“Good. Hold it a second. You’re going to be okay.”THE FIRST GOAL IN CALMING IS TO RESTORE RHYTHM. There are many
techniques for doing this, some as old as fear itself. All rely on cadence more
than verbal content. The best way to learn how to do them unto others is
to experience them yourself.
Imagine a deep, slow drum in a Himalayan monastery beating like
the heart of the universe.
Now, adjust your breathing to the beat of that drum. Take a deep
breath, hold it until the next drumbeat, then actively blow out all the air
until the drum sounds once again. Repeat this ten times, and you’ll feel
yourself becoming more relaxed.
What you’re doing is called meditating. It’s easy when you know how.
Meditation, like berry picking, involves relaxed focus on a repetitive
task. This stimulates the parasympathetic system. Hypnosis and biofeedback
Basic Calming Technique ❧ 55