weird, because we don’t normally tell adults when they’re doing some-
thing right. If you feel like a preschool teacher, you’re probably doing it
correctly.
“Take another breath,” I say. “Good. You’re going to be okay.
Now blow it out.” She’s still following.
“This time we’re going to tense up like this while we take
a breath.” I demonstrate. “Okay, good. One, two, three, four,
five. Now as you blow the air out, let yourself relax.”INVOLVE THE MUSCLES IF YOU CAN. When the sympathetic system is
going, muscles are tense and ready for action. It helps to get people moving
to burn off excess adrenaline. In an elevator, there isn’t anyplace to go, but
you can still get the panicky woman’s muscles involved by having her tense,
hold, and relax. Muscles that are involuntarily clenched relax more easily if
they are purposely tensed first. If she responds well to the breathing exer-
cise, having her tighten as she inhales and relax as she exhales will help her
to calm more quickly.
“Don’t you understand?” she begins to cry more loudly. “I can’t
handle this. I’ve got to get out of here!”IF AROUSAL INCREASES, GO BACK. Getting explosive people to calm
down involves a hierarchical sequence of goals. You must accomplish one
before the next is even possible. There are, however, no straight lines in
human nature. Explosive people may begin to slow down, then speed up
again for no apparent reason. This is inevitable; it does not mean the calm-
ing technique isn’t working.All it means is that you have to go back up in
the sequence and bring them down again. Remember that you’re standing
in for the parasympathetic nervous system until it can take over for itself.
The system is a feedback loop that continually adjusts itself to current con-
ditions. So must you.
The woman in the elevator may begin to breathe regularly, then go
back to gasping and keening. This doesn’t mean you’ve done something
wrong. Just go back up to where she is and bring her down again. Crisis
workers like police officers and emergency medical technicians do this
dance instinctively. When breathing gets rough, they automatically go
58 ❧Explosions into Fear