chotherapy. The awareness is insight, and the arguing and eventually try-
ing out of new, formerly frightening actions is working through.
Take a minute to read back over the techniques I’ve written about.
They aren’t difficult. You’ve probably used all of them in other contexts
without a second thought. Yet, if you think about doing them in an unfa-
miliar situation, you begin to imagine all sorts of possible disasters. You
may even feel a few jolts of adrenaline. Now, instead of just turning away
as the sympathetic system wants you to do, listen more closely to what it’s
telling you. Aren’t the dangers a bit farfetched?
When you try these techniques in the real world, you can bet that
your alarm system will be making even more mental noise, pumping out
chemicals and bellowing that you’ll make a fool of yourself or hurt some-
body else if you try something you’ve never done before. When that
happens, do the same thing you’re doing now. Listen closely and think
about what you’re hearing. Who is saying what to whom, and for what pur-
pose? While you’re doing that, take a deep breath and hold it while you
count to five. You might even try humming.
Now that you understand how the sympathetic system distorts reality,
you’re ready to go back to the elevator and do a little psychotherapy yourself.
Relax; the theory is the only complicated part. What you actually do is simple.
Disconnect the alarm by sending contradictory messages. The panicky
woman’s sympathetic system is telling her she’s in danger, and you need to
tell her she isn’t. “It will be okay, the elevator gets stuck like this sometimes.”
might be a good place to start, but only after you’ve got her breathing
under control. The biggest mistake you can make is to jump into expla-
nations when people are too agitated to understand them. I did it; you
probably will too. If you do, just go back to basics.
Tell her that she’s safe, not that she shouldn’t be afraid. The idea is to
reassure, not argue. Give her new, more accurate information on which
to base her emotional response. “Elevators get jammed, and repair people
come and fix them. It happens all the time. It may take a few minutes, but
they’ll get it moving.” Her sympathetic system has feelings, but no hard
facts to back up its contention of danger. If you supply new information,
it may help to stimulate the panicky woman’s higher brain centers to over-
ride the sympathetic alarms.
Don’t lecture. The goal is not to reason her out of being unreasonable.
You’re simply adding a little more information to the rhythmic, repetitive
Basic Calming Technique ❧ 61