excuse,I knowI’mnottheonlyonestrugglingtorelatetoother
peoplewith understandingin a social,politicaland cultural
momentdefinedbyconflict,anxiety,outrageandsomuchnoise.
Empathyis“thecapacitytobothperceiveandprocessthe
emotionsandexperiencesofothers,in awaythat motivates
concernandtypicallyleadstoa caringandcompassionate
response,”saysHelenRiess,associateprofessorofpsychiatryat
HarvardUniversityandtheauthorofTheEmpathyEffect. Bythat
definition, it would be difficult toargue that the majority of
conversationsplayingoutrightnowabouttheclimate,politics,
equalrightsorimmigrationwouldqualifyasempathetic.
Becausetheseissuesaresocontentiousandchangeisso
urgentlyrequired,it’seasytofeeltherejustisn’ttimefor,inRiess’
words,the“listeningandbecomingquiet...theoverridingofour
desiretoshoutback”thatthepracticeofempathyrequires.But
whenit comestohumaninteractionofanykind,empathyisn’tjust
a niceidea.“Evolutionarybiologistswouldsaythatit’soneofthe
mostimportanthumancapacitieswhenit comestooursurvival
asaspecies,”Riesssays.“Withoutourabilitytoperceiveand
understandtheneedsofothers,therewouldbenohelping,no
cooperation,collaborationorreciprocity—vitaltraits that are
integraltosocialfunctionandourabilitytothrive.”
We’veunintentionallycreateda worldthatmakesit difficultto
react with empathy first. “If you wanted a system tobreak
empathy,youcouldscarcelydobetterthanthesocietywe’ve
created,”says Jamil Zaki, authorof TheWar For Kindness:
Building Empathy In A Fractured World
and apsychology professor at Stanford
University. Although our individual and
socialexpressionofempathydoesn’tseem
likesomethingthatcouldbemeasuredon
agraph,thegraphdoesexist,andtheline
on it has been tracking downwards for
alongtime,saysZaki.Withorwithoutthe
science to back that up, we know it in
ourselves.InaUKstudyreleasedlastyear,
only 12 percentofrespondentssaidthey
feltsocietyhadbecomemoreempatheticin
thepreviousyear;morethanhalffeltwe’d
becomelessinclinedtowardsotherpeople.
Maybeit’sforthatreasonwe’restarting
toseethefirst signsofapushback –an
efforttomake empathyand concernfor
othersourpersonalandcollectivepreset.Inherfirstaddressto
thenationaftertheChristchurchmosquemassacreinMarch,
NewZealand’sPrimeMinisterJacindaArderndemonstrated
howempathycouldradicallychangethedialogueofanentire
country. Although she fiercely condemned the attacker, her
focuswas squarely on the victims and on encouraging the
grieving public to consider themselves one with the mostly
immigrant community affected by the tragedy.Ardern— theworld’syoungestfemaleheadofgovernmentat
just 39 — hadspokenpreviouslyabouthercommitmenttoa new
style of leadership. She showed, in action, how powerful
empathycanbewhen“mixedwithswift,concreteaction”,as
one New York Times writer put it, “shaping her path as
acompassionatebutdefiantanddecisiveleader”andsetting
“high benchmarks formessaging andleadership duringthis
crisis”.Becauseempathyissociallycontagious,eachtime it’s
showninpublic,it’smorelikelywe’llindividuallyfollow.
Meanwhile,companiessuchasAustralia’sThankyoubrand
areleadingtheshiftawayfromseeingsocialresponsibilityas
a marketinggimmicktooneofa corevalue.Majorsupermarkets
declinedtostockThankyou’sproductsinitsfirstfiveyearsbut
eventuallypickedthemupinresponsetoapetitionsignedby
thousandsofconsumers.Sincethen,thecompany,whichgives
away 100 per cent of its profits, has invested more than
$6.2 million in projects to alleviate poverty in developing
countries.Itsmostpowerfultoolinfosteringempathy?Acode
onthesideofeachproductthatletsyouknow which community
is receivingtheprofitfromyourpurchase.
Similarly,howwe’rechoosingtowork,thekindofcompanies
we’llworkforandtheofficecultureweexpectis changing,thanks
in large part to millennials and their renowned emphasis on value-86
“CHANGE
COMES by
LISTENING and
understanding
OTHERS
THROUGH
ONE little
RELATIONSHIP
at a time”