60 How to Win Every ArgumentWhat do you think of the singer's execution?
(He replied: 'I'm all for it.')The advice given to a political candidate facing a selection
committee is 'When in doubt, equivocate.' The blunt fact is that
you cannot please all of the people all of the time, but you can
have a good shot at fooling most of them for much of it. The
candidate assures those in favour of capital punishment that he
wants 'realistic' penalties for murder. To those against, he wants
'humane consideration'. But he could be in favour of realistic
light sentences or humane killing.
Equivocation is a particularly tough paste for pouring into the
cracks of international discord. It joins irreconcilable differences
with a smooth and undetectable finish. Many full and frank
discussions are terminated happily by the appearance of a joint
treaty whose wording is carefully chosen to mean entirely dif-
ferent things to each of the signatories.
The vocabulary of equivocation may be learned from the
strangers' gallery of the House of Commons. If you have a seat in
the chamber, there is nothing you have to learn about it.
Once you have acquired the knack, and are fluent in phrases
such as 'having due regard for', you can move on to the more
subtle manifestations of the fallacy.
Well, it all depends on what you mean by full-hearted consent.
(You might have thought it obvious. You'd be wrong.)Every schoolboy knows
You would be amazed what every schoolboy knows. Anxious to
secure acquiescence in their controversial claims, disputants
solemnly assure their audiences that every schoolboy knows the