BOK_FINISH_9a.indd



Meeting Mr. Universal, my most profound “great attractor,” uncovered this
hole within, creating enormous tension that sparked off my kundalini awakening.
For I had met up with my ultimate socio-emotional healer—it was the chance
resolution of a lifetime. Before the awakening-proper came on, through my yearning
for Mr. Universal, I would feel an incredibly painful hole in my heart. The inner
sense of the heart must be part of the affect-regulation and socio-emotional brain
development that is supposed to be laid down in the first years of life. A fullness
would represent adequate development and a hole would represent disturbed or
insufficient development in the heart-brain wiring.
Anyway, back to the story—In 1998 after I finished my book on regeneration
and earth-soul recovery, my sexual heat was increasing and I was having throat/
thyroid pains and symptoms of the heating stage of kundalini. This heating phase
gave forth a vision of the futuristic city that I had been seeking for many years.
Because the image was so transrational and beyond the known, I felt I had the
key to the mystic civilization. (Check out Solaris on my website MyFacilitate.net/
jana/) Immediately on receiving the Solaris vision I intuitively knew I had to move
to Colorado—that there was something important for me to do there. After all
little me had the key to the future of humanity. It wasn’t until I returned from my
second visit to Colorado for an Alex Grey workshop in 1999, that I realized I was
having another kundalini episode. For that November I went through a four day
Die-off and around that time I was experiencing such wrenching grounding that I
had to lie down on the beach on my back with my legs open to the sun, to counter
the excessive pull of energy through my pelvis and into the ground. Fortunately
recharging and repolarizing with the sun’s rays provided relief.
It was apparent from the intensity of the grounding and my heart’s atomic pull
over to Colorado, that I was going through some very unusual chemistry indeed,
and that I had better get over to Colorado, even if I didn’t know what for. I wanted
to obey this Force whatever it was, for I frankly didn’t want to go through more
of this dying, wrenching and pulling. To rationally explain my moving I decided
I was going to Colorado to write a book on Metamorphosis, for surely this was
what was happening. Even though I was still very much a neophyte as to what
metamorphosis actually was at that stage.
During full moons in Santa Barbara I used to walk along the beach at night
to taste the particular flavor of the moon and be informed by it. By doing this
I worked out the yin/yang moon cycles and how this relates to the cycles of
metamorphosis (to be included in BOK 2). One full moon in particular I asked
when I would see Mr. Universal and a deep silent voice within said “July.” In
May 2000 I finally made it over to Colorado, at the dawn of a new millennium,
a good year for something different. I found a place to live without much trouble
and proceeded to orient myself. My kundalini phenomena steadily heated up with
heart expansions and sexual longings that often left me groaning in bed. To help
assimilate the energy I walked around in nature most of the day. I was adamantly
called to be outside under the open sky where I felt closer to the Mr. Universal and
my soul. The awakening energetic senses of kundalini make you realize how “flat”
the human spirit is indoors.