hence education is vital. We must be retaught through community and experience
what it takes to make whole human beings. The pain-body results from lifestyles
and circumstances that are contrary to the natural laws of life. Whether that be
deprivations, abuses, traumas, absences, excesses, non-inclusion, toxicities or
negativities. Without primal mothering the inadequate development of neural
connections between the old (limbic and hind) brain and the new (prefrontal
lobes) means that we have to spend the rest of our lives fighting to recover our
soul. A soul and creative genius, which would have been innately ours had we
been carried around and given adequate loving eye contact and touch for the first
couple of years of our life. In his book Radical Knowing Christian de Quincey
says that relationship comes first, and then our individuality grows out of our
relationships—not the other way around.
We are “shaped” by our early relationships, not “determined” by them.
Between infants there would be a large range of possible response to our social
environment depending on the individuals social immunity, emotional wiring
and capacity for self-destruction. The perfection organizing in the brain and the
maintenance of homeostatic mechanisms in the body, is “aided” by the presence of
loving bonds. Dysfunction occurs with the absence of love, or the presence of toxic
caretakers...how badly this impacts the development and consequent life of the
individual depends on innate qualities that the individual him or herself has. Thus
our subjectivity does determine our intersubjectivity, but our intersubjectivity
is determined by our subjectivity. Belief and intent of the individuals within
relationship determines consensus reality, but we must never forget we are not
victims and that we also have a say in that reality.
Due to the neuroplasticity of the brain we can help overcome insufficient
development of the right orbital cortex, and thereby reduce the hypertonality of
the threat response. We can also overcome the damage of stress hormones to the
amygdala and hippocampus through such things as meditation, hydrotherapy
and retraining the nervous system. I find it good for health and well-being to do
some emotional reparenting self-talk just before sleep each evening. Psychosomatic
therapies and practices like Hakomi, bioenergetics, Tai Chi, martial arts, yoga
and sports in general will help to develop more advanced wiring patterns in the
brain. There are some self-help things one can do to regrow the primary matrix,
but we have to be consistent (daily), loving and conscious!!! Some of the practices
in Kundalini Skills that would directly “touch” the primary matrix are: Solar Plexus
Breathing, Full Already Breathing Meditation, Spinal Rebirthing, Healing the
Heart Hole, Spinal Shower, Loving Self Talk, Cultivating Emotional Equilibrium
and Welcoming Belonging Therapy.
For information on primal mothering read The Continuum Concept, by Jean
Liedloff. Also Magical Child by Joseph Chilton Pearce.
“Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self: A Neurobiology of Emotional
Development,” and “Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self ” by Allan N.
Schore, 2003