on the path of ones life purpose is the opposite of dissociation. But we have to
learn to contain these global cosmic forces, carry out our Kosmic-quest and have a
personal life as well, because we can “relationship bypass” by both prepersonal and
transpersonal means. We can be so driven by transpersonal imperative that we miss
out on personal life possibility. That is the personal responsibility to accept life
and to fulfill ourselves within it. If we still feel dependent (fighting enmeshment
with parents or employers) then we are not yet in this personal responsible state.
The fundamental key is that we have to be sovereign before we can surrender
ourselves into accepting a relationship...”to accept life and fulfill ourselves and
our purpose within it.” Thus paradoxically relationship requires sovereignty or
empowerment by Essence. We have to be boundaried before we can proactively
include another within our boundaries. But if we are dissociated, that isremoved
from Essence, this is the opposite of self responsiblity and self-knowledge. The
quality of our relationships throughout our life are determined by the quality of
human interaction we had in the development of our self-system in the first few
years of our life. If we got inadequate heart-eye contact as an infant chances are we
may be cut off from Essence, dissociated (latent and repressed) from self and other
and prone to isolation.
For the creation of a beneficent human civilization we must evolve beyond the
security bound ego to the unconditionally loving soul. So focus must be shifted
from survival, to transmutation, without transmutation becoming yet another goal
of the security seeking ego. To do this we must achieve spiritual autonomy from
the world such that we can relax into unconditionally loving soul in the midst
of the chaos of the world. As the Global Brain awakens and connects there will
be such a floodtide of transpersonal alchemy that we will collectively gain the
skills and language needed to address it. Until then the pioneers will largely be
stumbling in the dark with barely a candle, other than the light in their own heart.
Relationships are so complex that there will always be an occasion to disprove all
our prior assumptions and theories.
The hardest won lesson I learnt from my awakening was: that there is a very
real danger that if we are already blissed out of our tree and intent on some heroic
journey, we can accidentally pass up on the lover of our dreams. Thus we must be
weary of the dangers of our inflation and idealism, to be responsive to the inner call
to action when faced with a meaningful encounter. And even more importantly
if at all possible we must be aware of our degree of spiritual pride, and prejudice
which in the end does nothing but disrupt our lives and create misery, loneliness
and division. The spiritual ego can be our worst enemy, because hubris stops the
“learning mind.” Thus if our focus on spirituality makes us more arrogant than
humble, then we are actually better off without any focus on spirituality.
The main problem with prolonged removal from romantic relationship, is the
likelihood that we may the One because we are so used to holding nothing to us, so
no relationship “feels” like ours. A fabulous partner turns up and we marvel at his/
her beauty for “someone else” not us. That is we have turned a prepersonal situation
into transpersonal dissociation and forgotten the personal in between. Distracted