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by our duties and survival strategies, the miracle of chance meeting then becomes a
one hour conversation instead of a lifetime of relationship. The degree to which we
have fought the pain of our loneliness rather than accepted it, is the degree to which
we have escaped into transpersonal amnesia, by which relationship is unlikely to
touch us even if it does arrive. Similarly if we have fought for the “right” to have
a relationship this resistance to feeds into our transpersonal removal...which as I
say becomes a prepersonal prison. We could call this phenomena, “relationship
bypass,” which can only interfere greatly with our soul development.
Metamorphosis, for all its fire and flash is completely useless if undergone at the
expense of genuine human relationships. That it is relationship, not enlightenment
that is important, and that enlightenment involves skillful relationship. Love and
human experience is more important than the pursuit of kundalini energy, spiritual
philosophies and enlightenment. If a spiritual partner arrives then sex might
become a natural part of that love, and the two of you can cultivate ways for sex
to not be depleting but regenerating. The upwelling of kundalini tends to reduce
“suitable” mates, but the chances of finding a spiritual partnership are increasing
due to global communication means such as the internet. Finding someone who is
not in consensus trance and who will not attack the original thought and creativity
of our Muse, or be jealous of it, is the hardest task for someone looking for spiritual
partnership. Until we find such a person we are far better off alone putting our
energy and creativity into enjoying the freedom of our single life. Rather than have
chronic longing be a handicap for us, we have to learn to find ways to use our
energy that give positively to the world and also receive back in return.
The question of whether celibacy enhances or impedes spiritual development is
not black and white. Some sexual matches generate more energy through synergy,
while others dissipate and drain energy and consciousness. Thus being celibate is
no guarantee that you will have more energy available for metamorphosis. Chances
are that prolonged celibacy while dry up your hormones and you will become
spiritually desiccated. Celibacy can be just as damaging and wasteful as relationship.
Some traditions insist that celibacy is essential for spiritual transformation, but
you could just as easily say that intimate relationship is necessary to transform.
Relationship or celibacy undergone in an entropic or energy wasting fashion is
obviously counter to evolution. Over masturbation or excessive sexual intercourse
will tend to waste the neurotransmitters and energy necessary for transmutation.
Avoidance is not transcendence and that which is repressed cannot evolve. Rather
than make a career out of avoidance and join a monastery or nunnery, nowadays
we have modern psychology and relationship science to help us navigate these
murky waters...we have the technology! Church systems of the past played an
intrusive and usurping role in the sexuality of their flock. Take away sex, replace
it with a set of rules called God, promise rewards in heaven and you basically have
a stagnant, prepersonal slave pool to draw from and build great wealth and power
with. As Wilhelm Reich points out “Sexual suppression becomes an essential tool of
economic enslavement.”
Traditionally it was thought that sex was counter to spirituality because churches
and gurus wanted to control their flocks through manipulating their sex drives. A