lock. Phase lock is definitely a necessity for the massive chemistry of the inner-
conjunction and this is subjectively felt as an uncommon Absolute Unity. This
unified sense of self is quite alien to our usual divided self. Thus the highly amplified
sexual chemistry fuels the Awakening, creating an anabolic energy-building
condition that brings things to a crescendo and propels all kinds of alchemical
events and radical far-out states and experiences, including increased PSI and time
anomalies. All this leads to its opposite in a catabolic breakdown, depression, Die-
off of tissue and restructuring of the body and brain. Fortunately for us the whole
thing is governed by massive endorphins, which makes the highs and lows of the
second birth endurable and creates a cellular equanimity.
Depersonalization
The depersonalization effect of kundalini is interesting and is one of the
hardest things to adjust to. Try to use this loss of self-centrism to your advantage by
noticing that you have different and deeper capacities within this new vast gentle
consciousness. Don’t fight it in an effort to maintain your old self, just fall deeper
into spacemind and follow “its” dictates. Drawing information from your dream
life, feeling into your extra sensory abilities, obeying your body’s rhythms and
basically using this new you to full effect. Don’t think that this depersonalization
is “wrong” so much as just a different realm of experience beyond the known. The
old you was the pupae, but this new you is the butterfly, so now you need to learn
how to fly rather than crawl. To proactively adjust to spacemind you have to let go
of the “need to control,” while becoming increasingly more mindful and focused
toward inspired action...thereby falling in sync with Kairos or God’s time.
As we metamorphosize we must embody changes in our sense of time,
priorities, social sensitivity and meaning. Thus we require a different skill base,
different metaphors, different ideas, and different goals. We can start by expanding
our language to describe our lived experience...perhaps leaning toward visionaries
and poets for inspiration and stability in this unprecedented state of formlessness.
Remember the butterfly you is vastly more sensitive and wise and its needs must
be respected, for consequences become immediately apparent. So your relationship
to yourself must become more responsive to the new needs belonging to this
transformed person you have become. Don’t get depressed just because everything
has permanently changed. Instead, find out the best way to live within this
enigmatic experience of the spacious self...and more alive you will become as the
butterfly.
After a catastrophic awakening we are often faced with the challenge of
depersonalization and anhedonia. Your sense of aliveness will return when you
build up your nerve sheaths with nonGM lecithin, B complex, nutritional yeast,
fish oil, silicon and increase the raw greens in your diet. Cut back on cooked
carbohydrates and all sugar; instead try to eat your carbohydrates in sprouted raw
form or fruit. This will reduce the spaced out feeling. Do the grounding techniques
in the Kundalini Skills List and the inner-contact practices in the Inner Arts. You
may need to find a Tai Chi or martial arts teacher to help you focus on energy
circulation and breathing into your experience.