BOK_FINISH_9a.indd



understood the presence of increased nitric oxide during kundalini and started
reading about the freeze response. I realized that the paralysis, the left-brain freeze
and red eye lid were not accompanied by the “contraction” of tissues but by their
dilation, even if the numbing pressurized clamping effect “feels” like a contraction.
And that the paralysis during the inner-conjunction may not be due to the over
stimulation of the motor-sensory cortex, but due to the freeze response that
operates on the brainstem and the dorsal vagus complex.
The neurological cause of the numbness in either of the hemispheres is probably
rather simply explained. Since most of the “electrical” activity in kundalini is
experienced on the left body and left-brain I assume that the numbing of the scalp
of the left side of the head is simply the result of massive beta endorphin (opiate)
production in an effort to inhibit the excessive nerve firing in the left side of the
brain. This left-brain clamp/crab gives new meaning to the term “numb-skull.”
Doing mathematics in the head is almost impossible. One has to watch out that
one doesn’t do silly things, or rather one watches oneself “do” silly things. The
effect of having the left-brain function suspended results in the body-soul claiming
its own time and space for metamorphosis to occur. The ego and one’s life becomes
subordinate to the metamorphic crisis as it totally takes over one’s existence. With
these awesome forces the ego soon learns that it is not in the drivers seat, that it is
kundalini that is living us. The numbing effect of the left-brain freeze can reach such
acute proportions that I was reduced to a radically “right-brained consciousness”
on the day that I met Mr. Universal. On that day my left-brain freeze reached its
zenith and right-brain consciousness became more prominent in general during
the entire period of the awakening.
The night after leaving my initiators presence I had the most ecstatic divine
experience of my life. I had lapsed into a paralyzed, rapturous trance as soon as
I had gone to bed. Although time is incalculable during such events, it seemed
like for perhaps half an hour or more a blissful electric penis was entering me
while ecstatic energy poured upwards through every cell of my body. I call this
experience sex with eros. It wasn’t anything I “did” and it only happened once,
sex on that level is not sex, it’s some kind of God communion activity of the cells. I
felt like Jesus Christ after the first awakening in 1988, but with this Sex-with-Eros
thing, I was God his-very-self and she was a woman. Thus I like to say that Sex
with Eros was the best sex I NEVER had!
Sex with Eros involves spontaneous prolonged full body orgasm during an
inner-conjunction, without a partner or any stimulation. However “orgasm” in
no way describes the sense of divinity and absolute unity that occurs. I think this
is what mythic traditions might have interpreted as having sex with the Gods, or
with angels. It might even correspond to the idea of being impregnated by God
and consequently the virgin birth. Stimulation of these contractions is probably
due to a combination of vasopressin, oxytocin, prostaglandins, nitric oxide and
histamine; within the context of generally upgraded sex hormones that occurs
during the heating and peak kundalini stages.
As night follows day, the morning after this complete opening I woke to find
myself in its opposite. A massive autonomic shock that I call the White shock.