The Washington Post - USA (2022-03-27)

E4 PG EE THE WASHINGTON POST.SUNDAY, MARCH 27 , 2022

Your phone is your constant

companion n ow; i t fills a space

that should be filled with your

own i magination a nd with

interaction with your best dog

buddy, as well as human f riends

and family.

When you come home from

school, put your phone in a

drawer for two hours. Close t he

drawer and leave it there (not in

your pocket). You and your dog

will both feel much b etter i f you

play and hang o ut together

without the distraction.

(November 2012)

Amy's column appears seven days a

week at washingtonpost.com/advice.

Write to [email protected] or

Amy Dickinson, P.O. Box 194, Freeville,

N.Y. 13068.  You can also follow her

@askingamy.

© 2 022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by

Tribune Content Agency

gets a good medical checkup right

away. Dogs tend t o act mopey

when they’re n ot feeling well. You

are perceptive to see that your

inattention h as a real impact on

your dog.

It i s possible that he i s sad a nd

depressed because he misses you.

This is s imilar to the way some

kids report feeling neglected b y

their parents when their parents

are glued to their smartphones,

instead of talking and l istening

with full attention t o them.

I recently r ead an interesting

interview with psychologist

Sherry Turkle, author of “Alone

To gether: Why We E xpect More

From Te chnology and Less From

Each Other.”

Turkle pointed o ut that an

important part of adolescence is

the a bility t o be o n your own f or

the first time, amusing yourself

and e xercising some

independence.

Dear Amy: I am 13 and h ave the

best dog ever. He u sually follows

me around the h ouse, and h e

mopes when I’m gone.

He h asn’t b een f ollowing me

around the h ouse as much lately

and h as been acting kind o f

mopey. I believe this is because I

recently got a smartphone.

I am worried that I have been

spending too m uch time on it and

not giving h im enough attention.

My p up is only 5 , and he’s

healthy. I l ove t his dog with all my

heart and am saddened by the

thought t hat he might feel that I

don’t l ove him.

How can I make sure I'm

spending enough time with my

dog a nd not my s martphone?

What are some ways to resist

using my s martphone?

— Smartphone Addict

Addict: First, you and your folks

should m ake sure your buddy

girl is very confused and s tressed.

It a lso sounds as if your sister i s

not doing a good job with her.

You should t ry y our best to

teach your niece appropriate

behavior a round pets. Teach her

how to be gentle. Te ach her to

stand still w hile the dog dances

around her l egs. Te ach her to pet

the d og on t he top o f the head and

encourage her to help you by

pouring w ater into his bowl.

Te ll her, “A lways be gentle.

Never p ut your h and near his

mouth and never t ouch him when

he is eating.” Always watch the

dog a nd toddler when their paths

intersect.

Your sister i s a mess. It is u p to

you to decide how m uch of her

own t oddler behavior you can

tolerate. You may have to tell her

that unless she c an respect your

very reasonable boundaries,

she’ll have to find a nother place

to live. (August 2012)

is a normal p art of toddler-hood. I

know she lets Mariah b e rough

with him when I ’m n ot around to

stop it.

I thought I h ad a s ystem

worked out — I made s ure he was

always with me when I was at

home, and I p ut him in his crate

when I was at w ork.

However, the past three days

when I returned home, the dog

was o utside the crate. My sister

admits that she let him out.

I understand this is a very hard

time in her life, but s omething

needs t o be done. She refuses to

cooperate or compromise. I d on’t

want anyone to get hurt. What

can I do?

— Worried

Worried: Biting is not necessarily

a “normal p art of toddler-hood.”

It i s, however, a very common

toddler r eaction to stress.

You can assume that this little

Dear Readers:
Every year I step
away f rom my
column b riefly to
work on other
creative projects.
(Anyone interested in my
personal essays a nd photographs
can subscribe to my f ree
newsletter:
amydickinson.substack.com).
I’ll be back next week. Today’s
“Best of ” topic from 10 years ago
is: “Going to the d ogs.”
Dear Amy: My s ister recently
lost her job. I let her and h er 2^12 -
year-old daughter, “Mariah,”
move in with me while she gets
on her feet.
I have a 9-year-old toy p oodle,
and h e’s gentle and g reat with
children.
The problems began when
Mariah s tarted biting the dog.
My s ister r efuses t o do
anything about i t. She says biting

A live-in sister and niece, a dog, and a bite. (Spoiler alert: It wasn’t the canine.)

Ask Amy

AMY
DICKINSON

(240) 335-7017

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Read “Medical Mysteries,” Tuesdays in Health & Science.
She had a loud,
nonstop crunching
noise in her head...