Within the undivided moments
A twig falls in an empty pathway
A moth rests in a margin of light beside the darkening window
A spider shakes its web behind the cupboards in the hospital
A beetle pauses and turns at the edge of a puddle of blood
And above the vanishing lovers
Magnificent lords of cloud reveal again
Beauty no one can see‘Pause’ (Croggon 1997, p. 6)This poem has what I call a hook, a binding phrase ‘Within the divided
moments’ on which the other phrases hang, and which helps to section-
alise the poem. However, the structure is not predictably regular (there are
different numbers of lines in most of the sections). Structure means shape,
but not necessarily symmetry or regularity. In fact, too much emphasis on
symmetry and regularity can lead to monotony and predictability of form
and content.
‘Within the undivided moments’ is a striking and engaging hook phrase:
it suggests that these chosen moments have an integrity, a special quality,
which is possibly lacking in other moments. But this hook phrase also has
the power to transform the way we interpret the ‘hanging’ images in the
poem. Some of the moments seem quite unique or intense, but others are
more mundane (a train stops on the bridge). These everyday moments
seem to be ‘undivided’ because of the way they are perceived. But the poem
also suggests that most moments—because they are part of the process of
life itself—have a special quality to them, which usually goes unnoticed.
The poem, therefore, uses a relatively simple structure to complex and
ambiguous ends. The repeating line pulls together a cluster of images which
are quite dissimilar, but with a particular and heightened focus.
Variation
Closely related to the idea of repetition is variation (Exercise 1c). You can
build a structure in which several blocks of texts are variations on the same
idea or the same technique. Instead of one word association, for example,
you could produce three which are interrelated:
Example 3.4
a) word association based on green
b) word association based on red
c) word association based on blue52 The Writing Experiment