And all while contending with an
ever-growing list of increasingly
bizarre ailments, diseases and
psychological disorders, from denim
genes to monobrow to premature
mummification. Weird illnesses
demand even weirder cures – light-
headedness, for example, causes
patients’ heads to turn into lightbulbs, and is treated by unscrewing
the offending bonces and screwing
new ones on. An irreverent sense of
humour ensures that even the most
morbid subject matter is kept light and
fun. Yes, patients will die... but they’ll
come back as a ghost in a white sheet
to haunt your hospital, too.Share the health
The game launched originally on PC
in August last year, to awards and
positive reviews. It’s a clear spiritual
successor to Bullfrog’s classic
Theme Hospital, and even has some
of that title’s original creators on its
development team. Two Point Hospital
will be especially pleasing for anyone
who loved that game back in 1997, but
its best trick is that, while it benefits
from a nostalgic eye, it still feels
thoroughly modern, never succumbing
to overly retro-aping clunkiness.
Having proven its worth in the
world of mice and keyboards, the
only question really is how well it can
translate its often complex building
and management to gamepad
controls. The latest footage is
promising – play seems smooth and
intuitive, though we do wonder how
quickly we’ll be able to traverse the
game’s many menus and lists of items.
One major upside to Two Point
Hospital’s recent history on PC is that
it’s coming to Xbox with over a year’s
worth of free updates already in place,
including new features and quality-
of-life improvements such as the
ability to copy-paste room layouts and
customise your staff members’ looks.
The game’s expansions are bundled
in, too, allowing you to build in a
wintery region in Bigfoot and a tropical
paradise in Pebberley Island. QA patient comes to your office with
unusual symptoms, including a shiny
red nose, giant feet and an excess
of buffoonery. Your diagnostic skills
find the obvious cause – a severe jest
infection. The only cure? A trip to the
clown clinic for a complete excision of
their out-of-control sense of humour.
So, yes, Two Point Hospital’s grasp
of medical practice doesn’t lean on
the realistic side, but that doesn’t
make this detailed management sim
any less engrossing. As administrator,
you’re tasked with building and
maintaining the best hospitals you
can, keeping on top of everything
from designing rooms, hiring and
firing nurses and doctors, performing
scientific research and even
controlling the temperature.Members of the team worked on not just Theme Hospital, but other Bullfrog classics such as Black & White and Populous
BELOW The cure
for getting a
pan stuck on
your head? A
giant magnet,
of course.
Two Po i n t
Hospital
50ccs of management sim
injected directly into your Xbox
Robin Valentine
PUBLISHER SEGA DEVELOPER TWO POINT STUDIOS
ETA WINTER“Patients will
die... but they’ll
come back as
a ghost in a
white sheet”
040 THE OFFICIAL XBOX MAGAZINE
PREVIEW