Elizabeth
I had an eccentric, happy childhood; certainly, it was
very different from the flashy status I went to school
with in LA. Both my parents were teachers and weren’t
invested in what kind of car they drove or what they
wore. Those things can be very important for a kid, so
most of the time I wanted my mother to meet me five
blocks from the school. But as an adult I’ve completely
come to value what they did for me.
I was introverted and tomboyish growing up; I always
had my nose in a book. I became more extroverted
when I started doing plays at high school. Interacting
with people in this way felt easier and safer to me.
I loved the whole process of putting on productions.
After high school I attended the American Conservatory
Theatre in San Francisco and then the Juilliard in New
York. When I was 23 I first met my husband, Simon
[Curtis, a director and producer], but I didn’t get to
know him properly until he hired me seven years
later for a series of plays for the BBC called Performance.
I just felt very at home with him and we got married
the following year.
I never had any kind of maternal urge, but Simon was
clearly a man who was meant to be a father. I got pregnant
quickly and I thought it was fate telling me the time
had come. Things were difficult. I had my apartment in
NYC but Simon had a regular job with the BBC, so it
made sense for me to move over. I felt very out of place
in a foreign country, not working and newly pregnant,
then having Matilda when I turned 32. It was a lot of big
changes all at once. Lady Cora [Elizabeth’s character
in Downton Abbey] is a role that in some way mirrors
my life; I’m an American who has spent two decades
raising English children and making cultural
adjustments. Whenever things were challenging, there
wasn’t an escape route. I had to start my career from
scratch in England, so it was a perfect time to be with
Matilda and her younger sister, Gracie.
I remember Matilda’s birth like it was yesterday —
locking eyes with her little face, she looked at me with
this expression of “What the hell is going on here?” and
she’s not really changed all that much. She has a habit
of observing things with a dry wit.
In many ways Simon is more the mother and I’m
more the father. He was more the details guy whom
they could count on and who made sure they got to
where they needed to be on time. Whereas whenever
Matilda got in the car with me, I don’t think she had
any faith we’d end up where we meant to go without
getting completely lost.
We were lucky, given the line of work both Simon
and I are in, that one of us could always finagle some
RELATIVE VALUES
Elizabeth McGovern & Matilda Curtis
The Downton actress and her daughter, a writer, on rocking out in crinolines
time off if the other was working. Matilda was able to
have consistent schooling her whole life, rather than
chopping and changing like many actors’ kids.
Matilda was 16 when Downton started. The girls would
sometimes come to visit me on the set, but I didn’t
want my career to be a big part of their life. When the
show first took off I thought I’d have to give up Sadie and
the Hotheads, the folk-rock band I’m in, but when you
are working on a series like Downton there’s a lot of
waiting around. I’d often be in my trailer with Michelle
Dockery [who plays Lady Mary] in our crinolines and
fancy dresses, teaching each other new songs as we
played our guitars.
I genuinely enjoy my kids and am interested in them.
I’ve seen a lot of mothers get wound up about their
children’s grades, but I couldn’t be the same. I think that
lack of pressure made them want to achieve what they
themselves wanted. I feel guilty saying this, given how
people have suffered, but I loved having both kids at
home during the pandemic. I had built-in company; we
did TikTok dances and talked so much. And doing the
second Downton film, with Simon as director, was a joy.
When you’re living with somebody you almost forget
what they’re like when they’re at their best, so I didn’t
know what to expect. But I felt so very proud of him.Main: Matilda, 28,
and Elizabeth,
60, backstage at
Riverside Studios
in west London.
Right: mother and
daughter take
time out in 1994“Like Lady Cora I’m an American who
has spent two decades raising English
children, making cultural adjustments”
8 • The Sunday Times Magazine