handicapped. She may not aspire to reach goals she could have ful-
filled. And even when she appears successful to others, she often
feels like an imposter who will be “found out.”
Unless they themselves are Athena women, most mothers of
Athena daughters feel unappreciated, or feel as if their daughters
are from a different species of being altogether. For example, any
relationship-oriented woman will likely find herself lacking rapport
with her Athena daughter. When she talks about people and feelings,
the daughter is uninterested. Instead, her daughter wants to know
how something works, and finds her mother hasn’t the foggiest no-
tion or desire to know. As a result of their differences, the Athena
daughter may treat her mother as an incompetent. One such mother
noted that her daughter “was age ten going on thirty.” Her daugh-
ter’s slogan seemed to be, “Oh, mother, be practical!” This mother
went on to say that “Sometimes my daughter makes me feel as if
she were the adult, and I were a retarded child!”
Equally invalidating may be an Athena daughter’s experience
with a mother who gives the impression that there is something
wrong with her daughter. Such a mother may comment, for example,
“You’re nothing but a calculating machine!” or “Try pretending that
you’re a girl.”
The woman who develops her Athena qualities and is a high
achiever with solid self-esteem usually has had parents in the Zeus-
Metis mold^5 (successful father in the foreground, nurturing mother
in the background) and has had the position in the family of a first-
born son. Often her position in the family came by default. She may
have been the only child, or the oldest of several girls. Or her
brother may have suffered from a mental or physical impairment,
or may have been a grave disappointment to their father. And as a
consequence, she was the recipient of her father’s aspirations for a
son, and the companion with whom he shared his interests.
An Athena with a positive self-image, who has no conflicts about
having ambition, might also be the daughter of dual-career parents,
or the daughter of a successful mother. She grows up having a
mother for a role model and parental support to be herself.
Goddesses in Everywoman